District Governor's Spouse

Wrap Up

me — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 17:20:47 +0000

It’s over! We lived. It’s been six weeks since the end of DG year. Nothing has really slowed down, it’s just on a different level now. MyDG is moving up, even if he denies it.

Was it worth it? Yes. No hesitation.

Did MyDG accomplish his primary goal? No. It’s a huge regret, but he accomplished so much during the year. He knows now to trust his instincts more, and Kiwonary is very political.

Would we do it again? Well, I’ve applied to be a DG. My chances are slim, but at least I know I tried. You can’t bitch about things if you aren’t willing to try to change them.

Leave a comment if you have a question, and I’ll happily respond. If you’re reading this, you’re probably a Spouse, and I wish you luck!

The Sacred Jacket

me — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 05:08:00 +0000

I whined several times about the sacred Kiwonary jacket last year. MyDG was supposed to order it last August, sight unseen, for about $300.00. He decided not to order one since it’s not a reimbursible expense, and we didn’t know the color. It was unveiled in January, and is a lovely, practical midnight blue. He bought the jacket.

The new Kiwonary President’s choice of jacket, tie, and theme have always been a big secret presented in January to the new DGs. The jackets, ties, and scarves are placed in everyone’s hotel room while the presentation goes on stage. It’s a big deal.

Next year’s DGs have their jackets already. Maroon. I haven’t seen it yet, perhaps it will be easier for them to pack for the January meeting now they know what color to work with. I’m happy with the dark blue, it ‘s wearing well. The only marks that show up are make-up smudges from hugging.

Special Club Invitations

me — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 04:50:13 +0000

MyDG and I are often invited to Kiwonary events and fundraisers. A former DG gave us great advice. “If I go on my own, I pay. If they want me to attend/invite me, they pay.”

We’re invited to participate in golf outings, wine tastings, art auctions, pancake breakfasts, anniversary celebrations, crafts, arts, and music festivals, and presentation dinners. We may attend a chocolate tasting on our own, but if w’re invited to several events on the same day, we can’t afford to pay our own way to all of them. Some of these are after work, and 2 hours from home, but 3 hours from work.

The clubs don’t always understand why we don’t attend more functions, but how do we ask ‘Will we be comped’ without looking petty, cheap, or grabby?

The other question is do they really want us there, or did we just receive a courtesy invitation?

I can’t think of any answers for us, but I would like to tell the next year’s presidents proper protocol.

First Quarter Finished

me — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 04:37:18 +0000

Time is flying! 25% of the year is gone. We have 257 days to go until the next DG takes office. The next DG will soon be trained at regional and international seminars. MyDG will be a PDG in 9 months.

I heard a PDG say last week “I’m a PDG! They can’t touch me. I can do what I like for the rest of my life.” That must be when they receive their magical powers.

We have a good time going to the meetings. We’re spending a lot of time together on the road just chatting and laughing. The meetings are either fun, or we have fun when we get back in the car.

We look like d00r-to-door peddlers hauling so much in with us. We have a carry-on, briefcase, laptop bag, posters, an occasional trophy, and my purse.

My most important obligation of the year is the PDG Christmas Party, PDG Annual Meeting. I am the hostess of this event. I get to choose the venue, meal, decorations, and gifts. The old folks have been asking about it for 2 months now. MyDG advised me not to tell any of them any details as it’ll give them less time to complain. If it was up to us, we’d cancel the party, meeting and donate the money to a Kiwonary project in their names. I dared to mention the possibility, and let’s say it wasn’t well received.

Kiwonary Meeting Meals

me — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 02:00:51 +0000

We’re still on the pork circuit. We finally had chicken at a few Kiwonary meetings. One club served large pasta shells filled with stuffing and diced chicken. I should’ve kept count of green beans, too. At least every third meal has included canned green beans.

We’ve been to three clubs that assured us we wouldn’t have a better meal at any other meeting this year. They were wonderful home-cooked meals, like Sunday dinner at Grandma’s. Slow cooked pot roast, roasted potatoes, those ubiquitous green beans, and salad. Yummy. Those meals were made by little old church ladies who have been feeding Kiwonarians since before women were permitted to join.

Most clubs have buffets with several choices. Buffets are really helpful, especially for luncheon meetings. We don’t want to eat too much or anything heavy. It also means I can work around my food allergies/preferences without hurting anyone’s feelings.

All but one club has served dessert. Boo, them! Dessert is like bacon, it makes everything better.

We stopped for fast food after one meeting. Our absolute worst meal of the last year was made without a stove or refrigerator. MyDG and I laughed that we would have eaten better while camping. The meal was a small (canned) chicken salad sandwich, pickle spear, baked beans, potato chips, and canned pudding. It was the first time I’ve eaten baked beans straight from the can at room temperature. We thought everyone ‘doctored’ baked beans with onions, ketchup, bbq sauce, bacon, anything. We were starving by the time we left. Thankfully, bad food at a Kiwonary meeting is rare.

Club Visits

me — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 01:21:59 +0000

We’re almost halfway through the official club visits. I spoke with a few former DGSpouses earlier this week. They reminisced about their official visits. They asked if I was having fun. I mentioned we sat alone at one meeting, and they felt it was because people were too intimidated to sit with us. I never thought of that. We’re trying to modernize the DG position. We are more casual (and younger!) than the previous DGs and DGSpouses.

I do enjoy some of the visits, but not in the same way as the other spouses. They seemed to like the formality and prestige(?).

I like learning about new fund-raising ideas and service projects. I like seeing how meetings are so very different throughout our district. MyDG and I have heard wonderful things from the clubs, and we are trying to share the information via our district website, newsletters, Facebook, and emails.

It’s a fine line trying to move forward while still respecting the position.

Meeting Protocol

me — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 05:35:17 +0000

Remember my protocol lessons last Fall? I should send copies to all MyDGs clubs. We’ve gone to meetings where there was no one to greet us. We’ve been to meetings where no one would approach us, even to let us know where to sit. Some club presidents didn’t know MyDGs name, let alone mine. We sat at a table alone for a meeting. As Kiwonarians arrived, they stopped at our table, saying how sad it is that no one is sitting with us. Then, they all moved to a diferent table. It was funny.

When DGs are introduced at official visits, traditionally the members give a standing ovation. Many clubs just sit there like lumps. I don’t know what happens when we have an important person come to the area. Maybe some clubs just have young and new members. This isn’t a casual group, so I think we should post proper procedures somewhere to give to presidents-elect. I don’t want our District to look like rude rubes.

DG Gifts

me — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 20:52:04 +0000

As DGs make their official club visits, it’s customary for each club to give the DG a symbolic gift. The gift should be representative of the local community, and tailored to the individual governor as well. My club used to give afghans with historic sites from our city woven in to the governors. One Spouse told me they received an entire set of china from a club that was in a pottery area! MyDG tried to put the word out that he didn’t want gifts in this economy, but if the clubs wanted to do something, he’d appreciate a small donation to a local charity.

MyDG has received a fruit basket from a local orchard, locally made cheeses and divine chocolates. Several clubs have donated a book to their local library in his name. Those are thoughtful, appropriate gifts. Except for the young -adult book about teen suicide “Thirteen Reasons Why,” by Jay Asher. Not quite appropriate for the DG gift, but PJ O’Rourke’s new book “Driving Like Crazy” was spot on.

I know one should never expect a gift. But, I am writing about a long-term Kiwonary tradition. I’ve purchased several of these gifts over the years. A few clubs have given him personalized shirts, and he’s thrilled with them.

He has also received about a dozen generic Kiwonary mugs, and several Kiwonary pens. Why even bother? They are so plainly an afterthought that it’s rude. These are typical Kiwonary speaker gifts. I’ve watched the Kiwonians rummage through closests and shelves looking for the mugs and pens.

Several clubs gave no present at all. I feel someone should tell these club’s presidents-elect so they aren’t embarassed next year. It’s the annual official visit. They should acknowledge the importance somehow. We’re only about halfway through the club visits, so I better clear off a shelf for more mugs.

5 Club Visits in 2 Days

me — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 06:43:38 +0000

The second week’s Kiwonary Klub visits went much better than last week’s visits. We left home Monday morning for 2 visits, stayed overnight at a hotel, and visited 3 clubs Tuesday. (MyDG let me have Tuesday morning off, and I slept in. I love MyDG.)

People joke about the ‘rubber chicken’ circuit. We haven’t had chicken at any of the nine meetings yet. We’ve been on the pork tour. Almost every meal has included ham, pork, or sausage. We’ve had plated meals, buffets, family style service, a picnic, and ordered from menus. Everything I’ve tried has been tasty. (lima beans-blech!) Most of the meals end with dessert. I ate a heavenly pie of coconut-pineapple pie; I want the recipe for it.

MyDG’s speech is going over well, but he continues to tweak it to improve audience reaction. People have told him “You weren’t boring!” after the meetings. I can’t imagine saying that to a speaker, but it’s happened several times.

Someone asked if we are doing the club visits in alphabetical order. Duh! That makes so much more sense than location, distance, and schedule. Why didn’t we think of that? Another oddity is some people are surprised at the date of their club’s official visit. They say their visit “is usually later.” The only reason I can think of is we’re on the other side of the District from recent DGs. Our 2 day swing was to knock out some of the clubs furthest away from us during MyDG’s days off.

I’ve been in Kiwonary over 15 years. When the DG comes to speak at our club, we all stand when s/he is introduced as a sign of respect for the office. That courtesy is in the minority now. A few clubs still stand at introductions, and a few stand at the end of the speech. Many of the clubs didn’t rise at all. I’m not going to play Mother of the Bride, and stand first.

More later.

MyDG-The First Week

me — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 05:10:25 +0000

Oooh! Ahhh! MyDG is now the official DG. Let the club visits commence. Kiwonary expects each DG to go to each club on an official visit to talk about the President’s goals for the year. We have 50 clubs in our district.

The first meeting was a disaster, and the clueless club members were so proud of themselves and their club they actually told MyDG “It’s all downhill from here” regarding his official club visits.

The title of this post should be “Pearls at a Picnic.” We arrived early at the meeting place, and no one was around. We found out the meeting was moved to a different location for a special event. “Aw, isn’t that nice.” Nope. They didn’t realize MyDG was coming. The president changes his email address often, doesn’t tell anyone, and doesn’t read his emails anyway. The schedule went out over a month ago, with updates, and a reminder.

We went to the new meeting place, it was a park. The meeting time was changed. We killed 90 minutes waiting. They had a picnic with their families, and installed the new president and a new member. President Clueless graciously called his wife to bring place settings for us so we could join them for dinner. MyDG has a Powerpoint show to go with his speech. He didn’t like my suggestions to shine it on a tree or the side of a van. MyDG asked to speak to the board after the meeting. President Clueless said he wasn’t sure if they could stay, then he asked members if they would be on the board this year. We were very overdressed for a picnic, MyDG left his official jacket in the car, but didn’t loosen his tie even after they encouraged him.

At another club visit, we were introduced as DG his full name and Wife. Wife? I don’t even get a first name anymore? A random visiting Kiwonarian gets introduced, and I’m “Wife.” Nice. I better get used to it, we have many more club visits.

I got a cramp in my cheek last night from my plastic smile. That’s never happened to me before. I guess I should’ve been practicing for the last month to build up muscles. I do have the head tilt and interested gaze down pat. I have to work on my eyes; I tend to open them widely at racist statements or stupid remarks such as “If I knew the DG visit was today, I wouldn’t have came.” Another good one was “The AG couldn’t make it, so she sent the DG in her place.”

This is going to be interesting. We laughed the entire way home last night. For an hour, we shook our heads, said ‘Wow!’ and laughed and laughed. It was a fantastic way of getting rid of opening night nerves. We have no where to go but up.