District Kiwonary Conference Critique

    Remember how I laughed at some of the DG Spouse training?  Part of it was protocol-how to introduce Kiwonarians, place them properly in receiving lines, seating them, and  traditions.   MyDG and I have attended these conferences for probably 15 years.  We know how to plan one from opening ceremonies to the wrap up critique session.   Some people must have failed protocol class.

This was noticably bad.  At dinner one evening, the current DG and DGSpouse were seated at the head table-way off on the opposite end of the podium.  DGSpouse was partially hidden by a palm tree.  MyDG never sat at the head table until Saturday’s final dinner.  He was quite happy to blend in with the Kiwonarians.   I asked the MC about the Change Over ceremony.  “Huh?” wasn’t the expected response.   We explained it was when the current DG ‘pins’ the incoming DG, who in turns ‘pins’ the new PDG.  The incoming Club Presidents of the old and new DGs come on stage to exchange banners.   They slapped something together as we dined.  Old DG took the pin off his tux, and pinned MyDG.  MyDG presented the pin he purchased.  Old DG then handed a rolled up banner to MyDG, and that was it.    I don’t know how they flubbed up the traditions. 

Not Even Mighty Mouse

  I am just falling apart.  I literally shut down, and must take a nap. I can’t form a coherent thought.   I can’t function with all this stress. 

 I  understand why now.  I’m nervous.  The Kiwonary District Conference is this weekend.  This is the event that is only for our District.  This will be the first meeting MyDG and I will be at the head tables.  All the other meetings leading up to this have been with other Kiwonians from the state, region, zone, and worldwide.  Spotlights will be on us for the weekend.  This is our District debut.

The conference isn’t planned too well this year.  Way too many chiefs, and not enough Indians.   I’m doing a lot, and I should be stepping back to let others take over.   The planners have been working on this since last April.  They made several decisions last week, including dress code.  Decisions were still being made today.

I can’t wait for this one to be over.  I have so much to take for my part of the conference.  I have the back of a Blazer filled,  an entire pickup truck bed, now I am working on filling up a Jeep.   I can’t complain too loudly, I do not want to see a minivan in my driveway.

I want this one to be over.

I’m Not Superwoman

  Sometimes I forget I can’t do everything by myself.  I try.

  Today, I was just overwhelmed.  My body shut down, and I slept hard this afternoon.   I think I have a better perspective now.   Our Kiwonary District Conference is next weekend. 

I have 3 distinct roles for the meeting.  

• Role one-Play the perfect Spouse.   I have ‘wife drag’ to wear.  I’m amused by wearing a costume that screams ‘wifey.’    I shall sit at the head table, looking interested in everything MyDG says. My lipstick won’t wear off, I won’t have to ‘go’ and I won’t fidget.  I stand a half step back and half a step to the left with pleasant smile pasted on my face.
• Role two-Play a gracious hostess.   MyDG and I are supposed to host a hospitality room  at the conference.  Other club members will staff it, we won’t be able to stay in the room too much.    I have all of the supplies purchased, and it’s my vision we’re going with.  I have an aversi0n to tacky, fake, and fussy.   People don’t remember good events, but 5 years later they all remember cheap beach balls used as centerpieces.    I want organic baskets filled with fruit and granola bars, and live plants a accents.
• Role three-My typical job here at the conference.  I have to feed and take care of 60 teens who will be part of the meeting.  I can do this part in my sleep.   

I’m worried about getting the food and decorations for 2 and 3 mixed up.  I have a plan to give supplies to 2 different people tomorrow so I can buy more, and they can bring the supplies to the meeting.  I’m learning to delegate, but it’s baby steps.

Even more panic-inducing-I’m going on a 10 day trip the day after the conference ends.  I have to pack for that, and shop for gifts for friends and family in the other country.

Successful Meeting

  Know how to tell if your participation at an event was a success?   Count how many times the people at your table must stand to be recognized.    We looked like a large ‘Whack-a-Mole’ game.

The Partners program ‘was the best one ever! ever!”  I think they meant it.  But the bar wasn’t too high.  Most of us agreed we wanted something informal, welcoming, low-key, and informative.   We presented an interactive 3 hour program.  Some of the Partners received more information than their President.  

 We also wanted a service project.  A real project, not just window dressing.  Our project was supported by all of the Kiwonary clubs in our state.  Such a simple idea, why hadn’t anyone thought of it before? 

People tend to forget basics while trying to impress each other.

Odd Question

 MyDG and I were at a Kiwonary meeting this weekend.  (Of course we were.)  A woman was standing with a group of my colleagues.  I still don’t know her name, and I didn’t see her the rest of the weekend.

Our conversation:
As she reaches to pick up my purse, “Nice bag, is it Coach?”
“Um, no, it’s Kate Spade.”
“Is it real?”
“Yes.  It’s from a store.”
“Oh, I thought it was from a purse party or something.”

Nice to meet you, too.  

Respect

  I have been a Kiwonarian for over 15 years.  In that time, the DG is God.  DGs are always treated with respect and deference.  Whatever they wanted was done.

Now? Not so much.  MyDG gets rude emails.  These are people he’s never met.   One person wrote ‘I am not going to the mandatory training meeting.  I will become president.’    WOW!  Kiwonary’s rules clearly state presidents must attend training, or they can’t be president.   A few of his presidents have never acknowledged a single email from him. 

Maybe because MyDG is younger than most DGs.  Maybe because he isn’t an attorney.   Maybe they think he’s a pushover.    I’ve noticed even Kiwonary acquaintances treat him like he’s just a placeholder for the person who comes next.    The next person is trying to give advice, like she’s above MyDG.  We’ve been around DGs for years.  My DG is being treated differently. 

 We don’t like it, but we’re puzzled by it, too.  They’ll learn.  MyDG’s motto is “Losing is Not an Option.”

Sleep? What’s That?

  We leave tomorrow for four days of training Kiwonary presidents and their guests.   The car is packed with loads of training materials, shirts as gifts for the presidents, and strange hardware.   It all fits.  Hopefully, most of it won’t come home with us.

This 4 days will be full of networking fellowship.   We will be reimbursed over $2,000 for this meeting.  Everything has to look good, make a strong impression, but functionality isn’t high on the priority list.

We’re both nervous, snappy, and not sleeping well.  I am in charge of the Partner/Spouse/Wife/random guest program.   I’m First Spouse because I am the most assertive.  This is the third Partner’s program I’ve attended.  The first 2 were being trained.   I think they’re lame, I’d rather be with the big people.  We aren’t doing flower arranging, museum touring, or visiting sick children.  Our program is a mirror of the main program.  We are going to discuss Kiwonary, both for beginners and experienced members.  It can’t be any worse than usual.  I guess anything over 40 people is a success.  Over 300 presidents should attend.

February Update

   We had a slight breather after the big show in California.  Emails and paperwork didn’t let up, but the meetings lessened for a bit.    We organized all the boxes and files, at one point we had Kiwonary papers in four rooms.   We got rid of much of it over the weekend.

MyDG is now fully trained.  He is qualified to step in early if the need arises, just like the runner-up to Miss America.   It’s now time to train his team of club presidents and district officers.   (That’s why we had Kiwonary creeping all over the house.)  At least the dogs didn’t pee on any of it.  Not too many DGSpouses have to worry about dogs with attitude.

We finally have correct, complete contact information for all of MyDG’s presidents.   It took almost 5 months for 50 people.   The email addresses we couldn’t get until recently belonged to the people who made the most fuss about not knowing meeting dates far enough in advance.    The information went to the district website and the current club presidents. 

I wrote ‘casual dress’ for the presidents’ training session over the weekend.  MyDG and I wore jeans and blazers.   A few of the presidents remarked they were happy to see MyDG in jeans like them.  I think they felt they saw someone they could relate to.  He wants to be a working DG, not a King on the throne.

150 Days

   Good news/Bad news.  150 days until MyDG takes office.    Some days it seems like a long time to go, other days I think time is zooming.

In other news, another Spouse reprimanded me today for saying….’hell.’  She actually put her hands over her ears while pleading with me not to ‘use that type of language.’    Wonder what her reaction would be if I found a delicate, diamond pentagram pendant to wear? If I’m lucky, she’ll slowly back away and leave me the hell alone.

Round Table Fun

 I like writing this blog, and I was looking for blog fodder last week.   I thought it was a good way for me to look pleasant interested.   I pretended to be an anthropologist observing the rare white kiwonian in captivity.

 One of the optional Spouse discussions was  ‘Inexpensive Kiwonary Meeting Decorations.’  I just could. not. do. it.   I wanted to,  but self preservation kicked in.    Other options were gardening, children, and hobbies.  ”Husbands of DGs” just seemed too sexist.   I sat in on two discussions, but kept on walking after the second session.

My first choice was about my passion in Kiwonary.  I knew more than the discussion leader, but tried to keep quiet.  It was interesting sitting with people from Turkey, Taiwan, and South Africa.  I enjoyed listening to them.

My second session also seemed promising.  It was “Kiwonarians as Spouses.”   We started introducing ourselves.  Three of the men at the table didn’t like the idea of women in Kiwonary.  Another man thought  ’One Kiwonarian per family is enough,’ and one wasn’t even in Kiwonary.  He dominated the discussion.   Silly me, I believed we were going to discuss how to help our partners, and not lose our identities.   That’s when I decided to leave, and take my sanity with me.